“The Lies We Tell Ourselves”
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No one will want a young widow with TWO kids. ⠀
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I want one more baby but I’ll never get one now. ⠀
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I’ll be afraid of and traumatized by death forever, so deep down I’m afraid to even have more kids.
I’m too sad, and got too much “baggage” for these young guys.⠀
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I’ll never find a man who is TRULY single, and willing to love and raise my kids with me. ⠀
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I’ll never WANT to love again. Love is too risky.
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Even if I love again, It wont be as good as it was with my husband. ⠀
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These are the LIES I told myself when Jason died. I hated my situation and felt no one would willingly dive into ALL of THIS. ⠀
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But I was SO WRONG. And my newest kiddo [pictured] is my proof. Never in my WILDEST dreams did I see another kid coming 3 years ago. I had given up. I was too old. Too “used up”. No one would want to do that with me and deal with my fears of remarrying. And I sure is heck wasn’t going to do it ALONE and be a “baby momma” AGAIN.
But God.
This little girl is the product of the TRUTHS that burned thru all those lies. ⠀
Those truths were these:
NO... despite my sad, lonely, grieving thoughts, I would not be abandoned and left all alone forever,
NO – love could NOT be stopped by lifespans or earthly circumstances,
YES My broken heart COULD and WOULD heal. ⠀
YES NEW love could actually be possible, and amazing!
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She is my little rainbow. My rose growing thru cracks in the concrete. My proof, that Love is stronger than everything. Even and especially stronger than those secret painful lies we tell ourselves.
Drop a 
below if you felt this! Any of these “lies” banging around in YOUR head today?
Love yall. Big Hugs.⠀